WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

 Imagine a stranger sits on your porch, claiming he wants to join your family. You tell him that’s not possible, but he insists and stays. When you call the authorities, they say they're too busy to help, so he remains on your porch for hours.

Some people will say that they will get a gun and wave it around it. You say to the man, “ if you don’t leave, I will shoot you.”

 And he says “well go ahead, I’ve seen so many bad things, I am not afraid to die.”

 So, what do you do? Are you justified to kill a man in cold blood who is just sitting on your porch? if you did then you'd have a dead bloody body on your hands. And, say, the authorities are just too tied up to come and help. So, if you shoot him, you'd have a bloody body on your hands and also the fact that you just murdered a man unarmed for no reason except that he's sitting on your porch and wanted a better life.

So, you don't shoot him, and he just sits there. And he sits there. And then he knocks on your door, and he asks if he could use your bathroom. And of course you don't want to let him in your house. But he says if you don't let him in, he'll defecate right there on your porch. You don't want that, right? He had no plans for leaving. So, you say OK, I'll let you use my bathroom if you leave. And he says OK. So, you let him where you stand by the door. let him do his thing. He comes out and goes back and sits on the porch. He hasn't lived up to his bargain but what can you do.? You're still stuck with this stranger on your front porch.

A little while later he knocked on your door and says he's hungry. And you say,  go find something to eat. And he says I can't.  I want to stay here on your porch because I want to become part of your family. He sits there and he's hungry but he doesn't go. You're in your house realizing there's a hungry man on your porch. Are you the kind of person that can just let a man on your porch starve?

And eventually night falls and it gets a little cooler. And he's cold out there. He's getting colder and colder. You ask him to leave again. But he says no he wants to be part of your family. So, what do you do? Are you the kind of person to let a poor starving man on your front porch freeze to death? You call the authorities again, but they're all booked up they just can't help. Are you the kind of person to let him sit there on your porch, starving and needing the bathroom?

As night settles in and the temperature drops, the situation grows more serious. The man on your porch is clearly suffering from the cold, shivering as he sits outside your door. You ask him once again to leave, hoping he will finally decide to go, but he remains steadfast, insisting that he wants to become part of your family. Faced with his refusal and the worsening weather, you are forced to reconsider your next move.

You are confronted with a difficult question: can you, in good conscience, allow a poor, starving man to freeze to death on your front porch? You reach out to the authorities once more, desperate for assistance, but they inform you that they are overwhelmed and unable to help. Responsibility falls back on you. Are you the type of person who can simply let him remain there, exposed to the cold, hungry, and in need of a bathroom?

You give him a blanket, but it's not enough—it's getting colder and he probably needs food and a bathroom. If he stays on your porch and freezes, can you live with that? Do you care about his well-being, or do you think it's his choice? If the authorities are so backed up and can’t be of assistance to you and you leave this man on your porch, and he dies there, what will you do? Bury him in your yard and never look back? Can you live with yourself knowing he died on your porch, and you could have helped him?

What would Charlie Do?

I read and hear many on the right complaining about people celebrating the death of Charlie Kirk. I get it. I agree, but isn’t it what Charlie promoted...our 1st amendment right? I complain about the things Charlie had said but he had the right to say them no matter how disturbing, condescending, and hurtful they may be. I didn't appreciate Charlie's support for the perpetrator of the attack on Nancy Pelosi's husband, which he expressed on his podcast.. Kirk said, "Why has he not been bailed out? By the way, if some amazing patriot out there in San Francisco or the Bay Area wants to really be a midterm hero, someone should go and bail this guy out, I bet his bail's like thirty or forty thousand bucks." He then jokingly added, "Bail him out and then go ask him some questions". This statement was made after the incident where Paul Pelosi was attacked with a hammer in his San Francisco home. This is not taken out of context. This is what he said.

 And those who are expressing their glee are doing the same. No?

People have said they like in Charlie his desire to “speak his mind.” But Charlie hasn’t cornered the market on sometimes hateful speech. Showing glee is basically doing the same thing. And Charlie would have to approve.

This can not be true

Sadly, it is. I am a senior citizen, not an overly old one, but I'm on the cusp of 65 years of age. How did this happen? My classmates are around 63, 64, 65. People I worked for, who scared the crap out of me, made me feel so insignificant, so "the help," are either in assisted living or dead. (The lousy bastards.) Co-workers have pretty much all retired. 

I saw a commercial for United Healthcare. The announcer said, "We here at United Healthcare know you have your whole life ahead of you." Of course, there was a young couple with little kids, toddlers on the screen. But I'm thinking, "Fuck no. This is the 'if you haven't worked your dream job, or lived in your dream house, or done that one thing that you wanted to do by now... it's pretty much too late.'" Sure, if you have the money, you could probably do that thing... sell your house, find the dream house. Although, it's probably too big now; too much to clean. And who's left to come visit you? Well, if you have kids and grandkids, it might be great, but if you're like me, no kids, no grandbabies to spoil... what's the point?  There's no way we could afford to get my dream place. It would cost way too much. Places I've looked at, apartments or condos, to rent or buy are small. 665 square feet... how does one live in a place so small? My craft room alone is probably 160 sq. ft. I suppose if I lived alone, but fortunately, I have a husband who would like his space too. My dream place would be up high, in an apartment building, with an elevator and a doorman. I'd have a balcony so I could go out and look over my kingdom. If only. 

Now I know there are seniors older than me who would say I'm still a baby, and I'm preaching to the choir, but this is really hard for me. I didn't watch time slip by while my kids went from one major achievement to another. Time just kept on going. I hate that things have changed so much. I went from my mom and dad's home, thinking that this was nice enough... hanging out with my friends in our basement, what was called Dinkuhn's Dungeon. We played foosball and table tennis, two games we had set up between the washer/dryer and the water tank and furnace. We all pitched in to buy an aquarium where we had Piranhas swimming merrily around as we fed them goldfish. We'd go for a ride in my brother's red Eagle, listening to Foghat and Aerosmith. Some of us smoked pot... I did not. Some of us drank while underage... I did not. Then someone fell in love with another who didn't feel the same. And another paired off and found staying at his place while his mom worked and having sex was more important than coming over to Dinkuhn's dungeon.

 Then college started, and moving out was tested, and moving back in to regroup and moving out again. There were boyfriends and breakups and broken hearts along the way. There was college and jobs and unemployment and jobs that turned into a career, which wasn't the career I had wanted and hoped for, but I was wanted, and I liked it enough to stay. Then there was a boyfriend who became a fiancé and then a husband. There was a mortgage and loans and no way to stop the career that chose me to start one I would have chosen because a pay cut for a novice would have to happen, but there was no room for such a thing. There was an attempt at motherhood that couldn't sustain itself. There were tears and anger and regret and then friendships that broke my heart even more to the point that adoption wasn't viable. 

then there was the big cross-country move to another world, one more progressive in some ways than I ever expected. And a job I loved but couldn't continue to work at without more income. Then a job I endured for 8 years, followed by another opportunity where they wanted me, so how could I say no? Then came breast cancer and chemo, and in the middle of treatment, a dismissal from a job I had for four years because I wasn't getting better fast enough to return to work. 

Then there was pain and loss, and 15 years later, I'm 65 and not liking it one bit. I wish there was a magic pill that would help me come to terms with this. This will eventually look like nothing to be upset about when I'm unable to care for myself and someone is holding my hand as I close my eyes and never open them. I know it will happen eventually, but right now... a future that looks not bleak but not rosy is just so blah. But what can I do? This is life. I need an attitude adjustment. I know.

Oh, What about Biden!

 So often, when I am discussing with someone the things Donald Trump is doing that illustrate his ineptitudes, the person will resort to something Joe Biden did.  It's like this Trumper thinks that what Biden may have or may not have done cancels out what Trump does. Like the two things are mutually exclusive.  I know this is a way for the person to deflect and get me to think, 'Oh, geez, you're right. Biden did this, so what Trump is doing is okay." But, I will not. 

"We aren't talking about Biden.We're talking about Trump.  He's the POTUS. Newspaper articles of what Biden did or did not do are lining the parrot cages of every birdlover from here to China. Stay focused."

Trump is the one who's defending his actions of defing a Supreme Court order by saying his lawyers are handling it. Trump has nothing to do with it, is what he is saying. Nevermind, he's the President. All his little mionons are apparently co-POTUS's. Ugh.

Is Not wanting to Talk About it, an answer?

I, seriously, never knew that if you didn't want to discuss something...like something you did or said that was controversial, you could just say I don't want to talk about it. This is an answer? I thought it was a non-answer especially after I was accused of something. Example;

Person 1, a close friend: "You are so dumb."

Me:  "What do you mean?"

Person 1: "You know. I'm not going to tell you. You know."

Me: "But can you be more specific? What have I done that was, in your opnion, dumb?"

Person 1:    "You know.  I don't want to talk about it."

Me: "Wait, what? Can't I know waht you mean?"

Person 1: "I told you I don't want to discuss this."

Me: "So, that's it? Why can't you tell me what you mean?"

Person 1: Walks away.

Me, two days later after not hearing from Person 1...in a text: "Hi.  Can you now tell me what you mean? How am I dumb? Did I say something that upset you? What?"

Person 1:  no reply.

Me, three days later in an email. "I thought we were friends and we could talk about anything. What happened? You're killing me."

Me on Facebook: "Apparently, asking a friend for an explanation about something I did is not allowed.  You do something, apparently but don't know you did it or said something that made a person lash out, and you ask for an explanation but that's not allowed.  I know, a person doesn't have to do what you would like, or you hope they would do. Some people don't have empathy; can not put themselves in the shoes of the person who is hurting from the silence from not knowing. But live goes on."

One week later, Person 1, who is not on Facebook emailed me: "You asked me for reasons why I said you are dumb and I tell you I don't want to tell you, you know why I said that. But this has gotten even worst. You post on Facebook that you don't think I have empathy and you won't accept my answer. I don't want to talk about it...that's my answer.  We run into each other since we travel in the same circles so I hope we can be coordial.  This conversation is over."

Me ugly crying from being ignored for weeks; not understanding why she said what she said and then getting reduced to just someone in our circle with whom I am just to be coordial with, not a friend, not anyone of great importance or someone to share anything with....albeit, maybe the weather.  She doesn't have to explain herself but I'm left to be sad and blindsided. And the fact that she doesn't care that I'm hurting over losing her friendship...just kills me. 

I had to no idea you could do this. Break someone's heart and just move on.  No one ever told me that that is acceptable... to say you don't want to discuss something. Where have I been?